OH MY GOOOOOD!!!! We lost Binky the teddy Bear!!!!!!

Do you know what happened last week? Oh my god, unbelievable, we lost “Binky”!! Well, we didn’t really lost it, he just stayed in mum’s car after she dropped off her little girl…I thought she would be ok…but no! At nap time, she screamed , and screamed like I had never heard before. I tried EVERYTHING! Stories, singing, all the Teddys I could find, but no! She still didn’t fall sleep, even if she was completely exhausted with no more voice… She was calling “Binky! Binky!” and looked at me with such pain. I could read in her eyes : “Where did you put my “Binky”?!! I know you kidnapped him just to make me cry, you mean nanny!!” “Binky” is maybe just a Teddy Bear, but don’t you underestimate him! He is really POWERFUL!

After this intense afternoon, I started to wonder about my own childhood, apparently I never had a “Binky” and my mum used to say that it was simpler because we couldn’t loose it or forget it somewhere. I wonder if it is something that they really need or is it bad to have a binky?

Your baby’s Teddy or “Blanky”,“Binky”,"Lovey" is a TO, Transitional Object. When your child start to explore the world, they will be amazed by it but as well be frightened. As they crawl and walk around, you as a mum or a dad are not always around when something a bit confusing happen. Teddy is portable and is an emotional security for these moments and will provide comfort in these scary moments just like you do….

This “blanky” will remain in your baby’s life until the time they understand or they do not need a constant presence in their life to be reassured. It can be as early as 2… or for some other kids, the teenage years.

You might be wondering if all of this is healthy?… When does this bond with this inanimate thing gets not normal? It can be already challenging to wash it and maybe completely impossible for them to go to sleep without it…Well, as per my research, it become unhealthy when the child does not want to engage or bond with anyone else other than the Teddy. If your child prefers to stay at home or snuggle with their Teddy instead to run around or play with other kids, well it can be another story. In this case, your baby’s answer to stress can be unhealthy and might need further investigation. The stress can come from a situation at home,with the child care provider or some other situation living outside home. Every child is different but your mother and father instinct is the best thing in the world so trust yourself. If you thing something is not normal or think your child’s dependance on their teddy is too much, you  can still consult your doctor and ask question.

So what to do or not to do? If your baby has a Teddy, you may already have done all of that or maybe you will find some ideas in these few tips.

First, I think it is really important to set limits. As we explained previously, Teddy is a comforting object and should be employed for this task, comforting. So we are talking about nap-sleep time, stressful situations, etc… finally, remember that this Teddy is kind of you so when you are around there is no need for it. If a stressful event was to happen, you are here to give cuddles and this is way better than Teddy (sorry Teddy, we still love you…). Teddy can stay in the coat or be carried around in the house, but not outside at the childcare centre or the playground. This way, your child will be more keen on playing and bonding with other kids and it gives you the security of not LOOSING BINKY!!!

Talking about loosing the precious Teddy, it could be a great idea to buy a replicate and to rotate both of these Teddys so they are both soiled and smell the same.  If you keep one Teddy too clean, there will be a big rejection when you will have to use it…

 

Talking about smell…my god, I don’t know if you agree with me but these things can get really dirty! Seriously! And when washing time arrives, it can be the END OF THE WORLD!!! You could schedule laundry visits, so your child is prepared and “Binky” is clean… Kind of like washing the dog...

When your baby is not a baby anymore, never laugh at them or tease them because Teddy is still around in the bed. Never ask them to give it up either because that could be difficult work. They will get rid of it when they will feel the need for it. Anyway, if you decide that Teddy has to go, chances are that your child will find another way to comfort themselves such as sucking their Thumb …

Your child loves their Teddy and it is really important for them. Remember that until the time they are bonding with other people and kids, Teddy is not a problem and is actually really helpful for your baby to make this transition between you and this scary world. Teddy can also be a great way to learn responsibilities and for your child to care for something. Ask your child to put him in the washing machine or to make sure that Teddy is sleeping in the bed during the day. Aaaaahhhh…..Teddy, we love you!

What do you think of the Teddy’s attachment? We would love to hear from you. I hope you enjoyed this post.

References :

-I found this lovely story about a little boy who lost his Teddy :

http://www.news.com.au/national-news/nsw-act/lost-teddy-too-much-for-toddler-to-bear/story-fndo4bst-1226479498941

-http://www.whattoexpect.com/toddler/behavior/attachment-to-blanket.aspx

-http://www.news.com.au/national-news/nsw-act/lost-teddy-too-much-for-toddler-to-bear/story-fndo4bst-1226479498941