Why boys and girls are so different?

We usually see little boys playing with cars or fighting and little girl having  pretend tea time with their dollies. I am taking care of both girls and boys and I can definately say that they are different and this difference is noticeable quite early in infancy.

One day, as I was taking care of Simon (4 years old) and Mary (3 years old) (not their real name) I was wondering : “But why does Simon always ask me to play “Racing cars” with him and Mary wants me to help her cook to feed her dolly?” …. Why is there such a difference in the games that they play already? Is it coming from the way we talk to them, the toys and clothes we buy them or their socialisation with other kids? Or is it already programmed in their gene to fulfil a future role as an 

adult ?

Of course, I did some research, I was too curious, and as a result I discovered that many things were responsible for the differences in children’s games and behaviour.

To start, what are their differences? I found that this board represents it very well (see references at the end of this post). These are just examples and of course your child is not stuck into one gender, but every kid has their own set of characteristics and preferences!! But we have to admit that they tend to fit respectively in these 2 columns.

So, usually, girls will tend to show more interest in people and faces and this is evident right from birth. This explain why Little girls are more attracted to play with dollies than with cars or trucks. Little girls will begin to talk earlier than little boys and their games will be more in fantasy than in action. Finally, they will prefer little groups if not one by one game with another child, compare to a boy who will love to have the big crowd  of his friends around to play a “pirate game” or “the hunter”. We have to admit that little boys tend to have better mechanical and spatial skills so they will enjoy to play with blocks and build.

So where does this differences come from? I was quite certain that education and socialisation were playing a huge part in this process. But, after reading a few reports, I quickly understand than it wasn’t just this!

Firstly, wile you are pregnant, your baby receives hormones during your pregnancy. Your child also has it's own set of different hormones relating to their gender. This plays a big role in their difference as hormones will influence their behaviour and the way they will interact within the world around them.

Secondly,  on a more physical plane, we notice that girls and boys are not equal. Right form the start, boys will have a bigger muscle mass and they are usually more active than little girls. Their brains are a different size as boys will have larger brains (from birth to old age) but little girl’s brains develop earlier than boys. Unfortunately, researchers can’t explain how these differences in the brain structure or growth relate to a difference in behaviour.

So there we go, there are plenty of physical and mental differences between boys and girls. I believed that socialisation was playing a big part in these differences and as a carer I always thought that unconsciously,  I probably change the way I act or talk depending of if it was a boy or a girl. I thought that I probably used a softer voice when I was talking to a girl and maybe encourage cars races when I was taking care of a boy. After reading the following experiment, I was not so sure anymore of my role in this stereotype.

This experiment was conducted in 2002 by Gerianne M.Alexander of Texas A&M University and Melissa Hines of City University in London. These scientists gave to vervet Monkeys  2 masculine toys (a ball and a police car), 2 feminine toys (a doll and a cooking pot) and 2 neutral toys to play with. The results were astonishing! The males monkeys were attracted to the masculine toys and the females attracted to the feminine ones. Both of the sexes showed little interest in the neutral toys. These monkeys were not socialised by human before or during the experience, so how is it possible that they expressed the same interest in toys and played with them the same way that human boys and girls do? …It seems less likely that “Gender-socialization” or conditioning is the reason behind preferences in toys but its maybe more likely to be hormonal or genetic. 

You might be wondering if there is something you can do to open your baby’s horizon or do you even need to. There is nothing bad if you buy your little girl pink clothes or dollies instead of cars and trucks,  but you can also open the door for your baby to play with different things and let them decide where their preferences lie.

-What about giving your little boy a teddy? He could practice how to nurture and cuddle.

-Filling the toy box with no gender or opposite gender toys

-

-Taking your daughter to the park and do some physical exercise. Little girls tend to be less active or brave.

Remember, your baby is not stuck in one gender and is probably showing interest in sex opposite toys. But now that I knew that these differences are mostly due to hormones and genetics, it makes me wonder, do we need to have 2 different teaching methods for boys and girls….?

What do you think? Don’t hesitate to tell us what you think on that subject! Thank you for reading this post!

References :

-http://www.growingupinaustralia.gov.au/pubs/asr/2010/index.html

-http://www.whattoexpect.com/playroom/playtime-tips/why-girls-and-boys-play-differently.aspx

-http://www.whattoexpect.com/playroom/playtime-tips/why-girls-and-boys-play-differently.aspx

-http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/200804/why-do-boys-and-girls-prefer-different-toys 

-http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/200804/why-do-boys-and-girls-prefer-different-toys

-http://beafunmum.com/2011/09/do-boys-and-girls-play-differently/

    

Why is sleeping so important?

How many hours does your baby sleep on average? Do they sleep the whole night? Do they have good naps during the day?
These are few of the questions that you probably talk about between mothers. Sleeping is a big part of your baby’s growth and it is often a concern for most parents.


A child will spend 40% of their childhood asleep and by the age of 2, they will have been asleep more than they have been awake. While adults need an average of 8 hours sleep during the night, new-borns will sleep a total of 10.5 to 18 hours in a single day. They will remain awake between one to 3 hours before going back into dreamland. Their routine is still irregular at this time and can vary considerably.

At around 6 months old, your baby will be more likely to sleep 9-12 hours during night with naps of 30 minutes to 4 hours, 4 times a day. The nap time during the day will decrease as they will reach the age of one.

Preschoolers (3 to 5 years old) will do a good night of 11 to 13 hours with no nap as they reach around 5 years old.

Finally school-aged children will need 10 to 12 hours of sleep. An early bedtime is recommended especially at this age. Children are highly stimulated during the day and they need a lot of energy to stay focused at school and during these years it is often your child will fight to avoid to go to bed. It can be difficult to explain to them why sleeping is so important but a lack of sleep can have some bad consequences.

As an adult we know a good night’s sleep is important and it is so too for your child, if not more. Unfortunately, children get less and less sleep due to overscheduling of activities, a heavy workload of homework, relaxed bedtimes, televisions and cell phones in the bedroom etc, and because sleeping is a physiological need, a lack of it is not healthy. Why?

Because when your child sleeps, their body repairs and restores itself. This is the time for them to grow up as growth hormones are produced. It’s not just physically but also very important for their mental development. A child who sleeps will be more healthy and happier. Memory consolidation occurs during sleep, so it is very important for your baby to be able to process what they have learnt during the day. Kids who sleep well perform better mentally and physically than children that are sleep deprave.

Finally, the more your baby sleeps, the more you can sleep, which is not a bad argument!

I am pretty sure that you can tell when your baby didn’t get enough sleep, because they are grumpy!!

There is more than just a bad mood as a consequence of lack of sleep. When your baby is not sleeping enough, the levels of the hormones that regulate hunger are lower and therefore your kid is more likely to gain weight. Your child is more likely to develop behavioral problems like Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder and they may also suffer from delays in their mental development and an increase in night terrors. 

And what about the nap? It is actually as critical because they are growing up so quickly. "Research suggests that physical and mental development takes place when kids sleep-both at night and during the day," says Daniel Lewin , Ph.D., director of pediatric behavioral sleep medecine at Children's National Medical Center, in Washington, D.C. (See references at the end of this post).

It is shown that good naps during the day leads to a child that is less fussy and who will sleep better at night. They will be more alert, more productive and make fewer mistakes after a nap.

One downside can be that a long nap or a nap too close to the child’s bedtime can lead to a disruption in their night’s sleep and finally, napping more than 10-20 minutes can lead to sleep inertia , which is the disorientation and grogginess we feel after waking from a deep sleep (this can apply more for adults).

Not every child is able to sleep well over the night or either at nap times. Sleep depravation can be a big issue for a kid, it influences their behavior and in the most severe cases can impair their mental and physical development.

Stay tuned because in a future post, we will be talking about tips to help you put your baby to sleep.

Thank you for reading our blog, I hope you enjoy it! Feel free to tell us what you think ! 

References ;

-http://nymag.com/news/features/38951/

-http-//www.sleepfoundati#186905
-http://www.cradle2kindy.com.au/BlogRetrieve.aspx?BlogID=1159&PostID=15351

-http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sleeping-angels/200905/11-reasons-why-good-nights-sleep-is-so-important
-http://www.sleepfoundation.org/article/sleep-topics/napping

Position your baby for a perfect night of sleep....

In my work, I was once taking care of twins, aged 2 months. Their sleep, as for all children, was really important and followed a structured routine. Sleeping is one of the most essential aspect in your baby's growth. It helps their development in many ways (see next week's post). So how can you give your baby the best environment to help them get the most out of it?

You probably have already heard about Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) and that the safest position to put your baby to sleep is on their back. So why is sleeping on their stomach linked to SIDS? Even tho it is still a little mysterious, the research shows that your baby is more likely to create a pocket around their nose and mouth that will trap the exhaled carbon dioxide when laying on their stomach. When re-breathed, this air is reduced in oxygen. In the same way, heavy blankets and plush toys could cause CO2 poisoning if your baby has their face against them.

 The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHHD) did research that show the link in between stomach sleeping and increased rates of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). Soon after in 1991, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommended back sleeping for babies as a result of this research. The recommended position changed it all, within a few years a decrease of 50 percent in SIDS was seen. The main explanation for this reduction is that back sleeping keeps your baby’s airways more open.

I think that the Sudden Infant Death Syndrome is something that you can’t stop thinking about when you put your baby to sleep. As a care giver, especially with new-borns, I had this thought quite often. It is still difficult to explain the causes of SIDS but some factors are known to increase the risk. They are linked to the bedroom environment and the baby's position or also to the prenatal and postnatal condition such as smoking during your pregnancy or low baby’s weight at birth (see link at the end of this post).

What the baby position and bedroom environment increases the risk of SIDS? :

- Exposing  your baby to tobbaco by smoking around them or in the house,

- A bedroom temperature that is too warm,

-Too much clothing, bedding, stuffed animals or soft sleep surfaces around your baby while they are sleeping,

- Sleeping with your baby in the same bed or putting your baby to sleep with your other kids, even for a short amount of time,

-Putting your baby to sleep on his stomach.

What can you do to make sure that your baby will sleep well and secure? Here are some tips :

-AVOID SMOKING around the baby or in the house (or even during pregnancy!) (most people know this)

- keep your baby’s bedroom temperature cool. There is no room temperature recommendation for healthy babies but as per some research I found 18-20 degrees seems to be the common answer.   The best way to keep them comfortable is to skip blankets and leave them in a sleep sac. Dress your baby as you would dress yourself – comfortably warm, not hot or cold. A good way to check your baby temperature is to feel your baby’s chest which should be warm, not hot or cold.

- Make sure that your baby’s cot is safe and that the crib bumpers are thin, firm and securely attached to the crib sides. Avoid soft mattress, fluffy stuffed animals, loose bedding.

-Co-sleeping safely : Baby can sleep in your bedroom but really needs to have their own crib.

-If your baby accepts a pacifier at sleep time, feel free as it seems that there is a link in between the pacifier and a lower risk of SIDS. The explanation could be that the pacifier lets the baby’s airways open while they are sleeping. Never force a baby to take a pacifier if he does not want it or if your baby is already sleeping. It should be avoided during the first few weeks of his life if you are breastfeeding as it can be a bit confusing for them.

-Put baby to sleep on his back, not on his stomach or his side.

There is a lot of devices out there that claim being able to prevent SIDS. I don't recommend them as they are usually quite expensive. The best way to make sure your baby is secure in their bed is to follow the previous tips. Don’t rely on audio, video or movement monitors as there is no real evidence that they are reducing the risk of SIDS.

 

Your baby’s sleep is one of the most important things. A new-born will sleep at least 16 hours a day. They need that time to grow up and get stronger. I am not a mum but I take care of several babies and kids in my work. When I put new-borns to bed, I often have the fear of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome so I understand completely what can cross a parent's mind when it is time to put their precious baby to sleep.

Most deaths due to SIDS occur between 2 and 4 months of age and we can easily get paranoid about it, but by understanding basic rules of positioning your baby for sleep time or making sure their bedroom environment is safe, you can help reduce the risk of SIDS and give your baby a healthy sleep.

I hope you liked this post. We would love to hear about opinion on that subject, feel free to express yourself!

References :

-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sudden_infant_death_syndrome
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sudden_infant_death_syndrome

-http://sidsandkidswa.org/assets/info-statements/room-temperature.pdf

My baby is signing....

I maybe had never mentioned it in my previous posts, but I am working as a nanny as well as running Rescue Mum. I am currently taking care of a family where the mum was teaching to her daughter how to sign “food”, “water”, “more” and “no more”…. I have to say that I never heard about “baby signing” before that and I thought it was only use for children with hearing impairment.

This little girl I look after is now 1 ½ years old and she has been able to ask me what she wants since she was 8 months. She is now even able to say the word “more” when she signs it at the same time….incredible!

I was really interested in finding out more about this technique as I had so many questions and it is not something I saw before in the other countries I lived in.

As a caregiver, this technique appears to have many advantages :

-The child is not as frustrated as they can communicate their needs more
effectively

-The caregiver is not as frustrated either, as we can understand the child’s need
better

- I believe that it helps for the child’s self-esteem to be able to communicate clearly
their needs and gain rewards.

I couldn’t see many negatives to this method, except the fact that you have to be consistent in teaching your baby. This probably will involve teaching your care giver how to sign as well.

But this is just my opinion as a nanny, so I did some research to understand this technique a bit better.

For the mums who are not yet using this technique or who would be interested in it, here is what I found.

As you understand, baby signing is a technique that allows you and your child to communicate through sign. Once they learn the signs and are physically able to produce the hand movement, your baby will be able to express their needs easily, such as “drink”, “food”, “more”, “teddy bear” ect…

It is a handy technique, especially in the first year of life when your baby is not yet able to talk or show clearly what they want.

The huge advantage is there is no frustration, not from their side nor from yours!

How it works is actually quite simple: Every time you do an action or show something such as Do you want your “Teddy Bear” “some water” “some food” ect…, you will have to sign it and say the name of the object or action. Through repetition, your baby will make a link between the object-action, the sign and the word. 

You can start teaching signs to your baby from birth even if their comprehension will really begin around 6 months.  Usually, the hand movements and the reproduction of the signs would be possible around 10 months, but it is not rare to see kids starting to sign at 7 months. Basically, your baby will understand signs before they can reproduce them themselves.

Many studies (see the “Wikipedia” link in the references) have been made on this subject to see how the technique was helping children’s development.

Basically, these studies showed that children who are learning and using sign : 

      - will have an higher expression and reception of oral vocabularies 

            -will have an advanced mental development

      -will not be as frustrated, being able to communicate their needs effectively             

      -will have a better comprehension in general

And as a parent, using “baby signing” you will tend to be more observant and will create a stronger bond with your little one.

Of course, like many other techniques and methods you can teach to your child, you will choose this one if it fits your lifestyle. I have to say that using it in my work has made things much easier, for me and for the child I am taking care of. I have this feeling that it is a gift to give to your baby to help them communicate. We don’t remember the time when we were not able to express what we wanted but I can easily imagine how frustrated it can be, especially when you know what you want. As a care giver, I saw both case : babies the same age, one signing, the other one not. The difference in the frustration and the communication was real. 

Are you teaching signs to your baby? We would love to hear from your experience or advice! I hope you enjoyed this post.

References :

-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_sign_language

- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gSZfW4gVhI

- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXu1FFk3_4w

-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhC9YEn2OpA